“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.”
~ Japanese Proverb
Carmel. Land of the Beautiful People. It’s cute and homey. Gives me a warm and comfortable feeling for the start of my adventure. After dinner I walk down to the beach to enjoy a beautiful sunset surrounded by all the Beautiful People. I call my brother Erik and wish him happy birthday. He thinks the trip is dangerous, and has been trying to talk me out of it for months. He’s got the worry gene too.
I stand on the beach, talking to Erik, reassuring him that I’ll be fine. He tries one last desperate attempt to convince me to spend the time fishing with him instead, though he and I both know I won’t turn back at this point. What Erik probably doesn’t feel, though, is just how attractive that safe and comfortable alternative sounds to me right now, as I battle the little claws of doubt that have grown over the past couple of days.
Not that worry is a wholly bad thing. It can certainly help in the decision-making process, so long as it’s moderated. In the case of this trip, there are surely things I should worry about – crossing hundreds of miles of desert on a bicycle in the worst month of the year, for example – but should I let that worry keep me from a great adventure? Worry and fear are two sides of the same coin. They can paralyze us if we let them. Or we can turn them to our advantage, and use them as wise counselors, to be ushered from the room once their counsel is heard and understood.
The temptation is to usher fear and worry from the room as soon as possible, before we hear their wise counsel. The emotions that come with fear are uncomfortable. Sitting under a gnarled tree on the beach, bathed in a glorious sunset and a tiny breeze that’s salty and cool, I recognize the emotions that come along with fear, and I push them gently aside. Beneath those emotions is an adventure waiting for me, an adventure I’ve planned for and trained for. An adventure I wouldn’t miss for the world. An adventure filled with plenty of unknowns, some risks to to fear, and buckets full of real life.
I’m bathed in confidence and contentment as I walk back up to the Green Lantern Inn. Not cocky—just content that I sat with my fear, listened to it, absorbed it. Then turned and walked toward the adventure in front of me.
Pilgrim Wheels Excerpts This post is part of a series of posts, representing excerpts from Pilgrim Wheels, a story of a cycling journey across America. Pilgrim Wheels will be released in early March, let me know if you’re interested in doing an advance review.
