Read a post recently that got me wandering down another path of thought. The essence of the article was the author’s belief that we all feel more and more pushed to “have experiences” these days. Katinka’s blog post can be found here, if you’d like to read it.
The idea got me going down that “checkmark” path again. I seem to love that path ever since Dave and I started bouncing ideas about it back and forth.
I agree that there’s a real competitive push in modern cultures today to “do the most and have the most”. The extends into things like vacations, and spiritual experiences.
Let’s start with vacations. When Peggy and Jesse and I were in Vietnam and Cambodia recently, we sometimes encountered throngs of Korean (or other eastern) tourists frantically making their way through a tourist attraction. They had no compunction at all about pushing ahead in a line, which was irritating to me based on my cultural norms, but apparently completely acceptable to their cultural norm.
On the good side of that equation, once they got into a place, they moved quickly, not lingering over anything at all. They were clearly trying to fit as much into the day as they could.
They were “doing” that particular attraction or site. The faster they could “do” it, the more things they could “do” on their vacation. The more checkmarks they could check off their list.
Of course that’s not unique to Koreans – in the west we’re probably even better at it, (or would that be worse?)
We plan our vacations to “do” a thing or group of things. The best vacations are the ones that are tightly planned and allow us to “do” the highest number of things.
Checkmarks.
“Doing” implies activity on my part – I’m putting my stamp on something. I’m happening to something or someone.
Experience is something altogether different, isn’t it? Experience implies something that happens to me, rather than me happening to something. Tiny little shift in words that has a gigantic implication on how we walk along the path of life.
Dave and I have wrestled with this idea a lot in our conversations. On our long-distance cycling trip last summer across Colorado and Kansas, we talked often of motivation to do this sort of thing, and what we got out of it. Recognizing how common it is to feel the motivation to do things to check them off a list.
I get it. The most vehement anti-smoker is the man who quit smoking. I grew up as a “list” kind ‘a guy, and spent my early adult years focused pretty heavily on the checklists. I easily fall off the wagon, and start seeking the checkmarks.
The only thing that keeps me on the wagon most of the time is selfishness. Really. “Doing” a place is me happening to someone or something else. Once I’ve come to experience magic – to have things happen to me – then my selfishness wants to let more things happen to me. Each sip makes me more thirsty to feel more, to take more in, to surrender to the thing.
The tint of the word “selfishness” feels a little different to me in that light. To you as well?
Extend the idea to spiritual experience… I think I’ll post on that next.
